The Book That Distorts Reality
A real query from someone who thinks they’re as special as Shari Lapena.
Not to be dramatic, but The Couple Next Door ruined me.
I mentioned in a previous post that I went through a horror phase not-so-coincidentally timed with the 2016 election. The Couple Next Door, a 2016 international bestseller by Shari Lapena, was on the list. It’s a fast-paced, plot-driven novel of twists and turns. When I finished it, as I usually do, I googled the author. I found this article, and read the following. Disclaimer: Read at your own extreme peril. You will receive reality-bending information that may cause you to question all of your life choices.
On Oct. 27, 2015, at exactly 9 o'clock in the evening, Shari Lapena sent an e-mail to the literary agent Helen Heller. Attached was a .doc file and PDF of a thriller called The Couple Next Door. Along with the manuscript, Lapena included three short paragraphs describing the novel, as well as her bio. "Thank you very much for your consideration," she wrote, "and I look forward to hearing from you."
She didn't have to wait long; Heller wrote back at 11:33 the next morning with a very brief response: "Is there a number I can call you at?"
Heller, the Toronto-based agent for several best-selling suspense writers, including Linwood Barclay and Kelley Armstrong, had read the first third of the novel that morning. "I always look at everything immediately, because it'll take me about a minute to work out if I want to read on or not," explains Heller, who estimates that she turns down 499 out of every 500 submissions she receives. In the case of The Couple Next Door, she says, "I didn't put it down."
On Nov. 1, Heller flew to New York, bringing along the novel's first half-dozen chapters to distribute to publishers. By the time she returned to Toronto on Nov. 6, she says, "every [publishing] house in town was after this book."
IN 14.5 HOURS, LAPENA GOT A TOP AGENT. TEN DAYS LATER, SHE’D SOLD HER NOVEL. IN TWO WEEKS, SHE’D SOLD THE RIGHTS TO 25 COUNTRIES.
Was this how it worked?! If an agent didn’t snap up my novel by the time I woke up the next day, was it garbage? Why have I been working on a pile of garbage for three years!? WHY have I written down all my “ideas” on these stupid notecards?! WHY WAS I EVEN BORN.
Of course, this is every writer’s dream. Helen Heller smelled the money-scented waft of Lapena’s manuscript through the computer and ordered it off the fast food menu. When I finally started querying in February 2020, the moment I clicked Send, I fantasized about receiving my own one-line response: “I love it” or “It’s gonna be a hit!” or “When we can we talk?”
Shari Lapena, you destroyed me. But congratulations on all of your success.
Shari Lapena’s story is not reality. Do not hold yourself to this standard. Many, many famous authors struggled to find representation or sell their first novel. Emily Giffin’s first novel did not sell, and she’s since sold eleven million books worldwide. Harry Potter is the quintessential rejection story. And sixty agents passed on Kate Elizabeth Russell’s My Dark Vanessa before Hillary Jacobson and a seven-figure deal. These are the stories we need to tell ourselves to prevent tail-spinning into a tequila bottle.
From my writer friends and my obsessive googling of authors I admire, I’ve learned that every writer’s journey to an agent is different. My own journey took five months and twenty-one query letters, some of which I re-read now with extreme eye-rolling. (Whenever an agent used to be a lawyer, I’d write, “We’re both attorneys!” as if never had two lawyers crossed paths before.) And within those five months, I made important revisions based on feedback from agents and the brilliant Chelsea Bieker. So if you queried ten minutes ago and your inbox is still empty, have a shot of tequila and remind yourself that the world only has room for one Shari Lapena.